Gay Boyfriend
by legallyblained
Summary: Set in Season 3, some time before Regionals. Rachel said dating a gay guy would be song writing gold, so.


"Listen guys," Mr Schue said to a group that definitely wasn't listening, apart from Rachel and Blaine, "We may have won Regionals last year, but we can't let it go to our heads. The only way we've ever won it is by writing original songs, so I want everybody to start thinking about what we want to write." Everyone started groaning, and they got louder when Rachel chimed in.

"Mr Schue, I've already been working on a song." She looked serious as she pulled out a wad of sheet music from her folder. She'd obviously been working on it for quite some time. Blaine grinned and leaned forward, listening intently. The idea of writing their own songs was exciting; the Warblers would never have done anything so daring.

"I wouldn't get too excited," Kurt whispered, "it'll be a while before we come up with anything good."

"You never know... This could be the song we perform next week, we should just listen. I want to learn every word just in case." Kurt smiled and leaned back. He liked how keen he was, even if it was somewhat misguided this time.

"So, this is about a really hard time I went through last year. Not many of you know about it, and I'd like to keep the matter private, so no questions please. I'm just using the music to channel my pain."

Silence. Finn crossed his fingers, hoping it wouldn't be about him. Quinn smirked, praying it would be about her. Rachel handed the music to Brad and took a deep breath, standing in front of the group. The piano started up, slow, dramatic, intense, exactly how Rachel had planned.

"_Everything I am, it was yours for the taking,_

_Thought you felt the same, but I guess you were faking,"_

Finn frowned. What did he fake? What had he done? He couldn't shake the feeling he was in trouble, but he kept listening and nodding in case she caught him looking guilty.

"_They were right, I was wrong, you wanted something else all along,_

_And here I am, all alone, now that you have said 'so-long',"_

OK, Blaine thought, that was a little off, but the rest is probably great. Her eyes were closed, one hand on her chest as the other went for the classic air-grabbing move. She was feeling something, even if the lyrics could use some work.

"_You could have had the power of love's sweet flower"_

Kurt and Blaine's eyes and mouths opened wide. Emotional or not, that was inappropriate subject matter for a young woman to mention around creepy teachers and innocent homosexuals.

"_And I've been here weeping for hours and hours"_

Kurt snorted. He knew what this song was about. He felt laughter bubbling up in his stomach as Blaine kept staring, trying his hardest to listen to the song which only made Kurt snigger even more.

"_Oh, what do I have to do, just for another chance with you,_

_You were the man of my dreams, but now they're blown the smithereens"_

"Did she really just say smithereens? Really?" Blaine didn't get an answer, as Kurt was doubled over, going bright red and clearly struggling to breathe.

"_Oh Blaaaaaaine" _Blaine's eyes filled with terror. Kurt gasped for breath and clawed at Blaine's knee in an attempt to stay on his seat, his eyes now streaming.

"_How could you cause me such paaaaaaaaain"_

Everyone was shaking with laughter, apart from Blaine who was frozen with fear.

"_I thought there was something... Betweeeeen us..." _No, no, no, please don't let the next line be-

"_But it turns out," _the music reached a crescendo and Rachel belted out the final line,_ "You only like peeeeeniiiiis!" _Will stood up, gestured to Brad to cut the music and clapped over Rachel.

"Great, Rachel! That's awesome!" The others joined in the with clapping. The only noise Kurt could contribute was cackling, but Blaine sat in silence, a tear in his eye, gripping to his chair for dear life as Kurt pressed into his shoulder to try to muffle his own voice. "I think we all need to try and throw in some ideas before we decide on anything but that was a really great start!"

"Mr Schuester, I had eighteen more verses, and I hadn't even gotten to the chorus-"

"But Rachel, we need to give everybody a try. We can't let them slack off while you do all the work." Santana raised her hand.

"I'd gladly let Rachel keep singing. I think that song really spoke to all of us. Well, one of us in particular." Everyone started giggling again, and Rachel finally made eye contact with Blaine. She realised that using his name may not have helped keep the subject a secret. She decided not to tell them the song was called 'Gay Boyfriend'. She looked at the floor and rushed back to her seat beside Finn, burying her face in his arm and blushing. Kurt finally got his breath back.

"Blaine, are you OK? You haven't moved for a while-"

"I feel awful."

"Oh don't worry, we'll all write one together, it'll be a lot better. Relax."

"How can I relax? I can't believe she felt like that. I have to apologise to her, she's a mess." Kurt smiled. Only Blaine could hear that and actually be concerned. He patted his arm.

"I'm sure she'd like that. But you might want to wait until after rehearsal. Give her time to cool off."

"Are you sure? She seems so upset-" Kurt knew Rachel wasn't upset about Blaine any more, but he couldn't bring himself to tell him that. It was too cute.

"I promise. Anyway, we've got too much to do. Come on, we need to find a good rhyme for rimming."

"Kurt!"

"Fine, we'll write that song when we get home. Let's get to work."


End file.
